I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
youre lurking in front of me
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
