this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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