i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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