well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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