k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
