just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
