I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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