I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
