1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You left your phone here
Wait...
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