I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
