i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
