Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
