we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
