Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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