You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So vagazzling was a success
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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