Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
