whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I cannot find my penis.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
