ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
