i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
