Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
