do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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