Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
