I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
