i don't like sucking hair
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
