can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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