Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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