and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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