My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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