So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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