It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
