im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
