So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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