i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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