Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.

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(206): We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that. http://tfl.nu/vyji

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."

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(403): We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I." http://tfl.nu/5568

Replies (25) Good night (4158) Bad night (794)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins

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(803): that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins http://tfl.nu/u9n2

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(216): View more from Ohio

She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.

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(216): She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here. http://tfl.nu/4k59

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(614): View more from Ohio

he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.

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(614): he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff. http://tfl.nu/tizj

Replies (32) Good night (1065) Bad night (15091) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?

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(405): i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk? http://tfl.nu/idqr

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(305): View more from Florida

I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.

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(305): I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success. http://tfl.nu/yoei

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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(320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg

Replies (21) Good night (6845) Bad night (1445)
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(206): View more from Washington

I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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(206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.

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(832): I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin. http://tfl.nu/0104

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(778): View more from British Columbia

She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.

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(778): She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/0zw1

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

Are you really alive right now?

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(612): Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath. (1-612): Are you really alive right now? http://tfl.nu/b3cy

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(701): View more from North Dakota

If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.

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(701): If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs. http://tfl.nu/qa5n

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(858): View more from California

We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?

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(858): We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship? http://tfl.nu/s6j9

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(651): View more from Minnesota

My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

(651): View more from Minnesota

ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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(651): My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means (651): ITS ORAL SEX CAROL http://tfl.nu/ccj7

Replies (7) Good night (1096) Bad night (196)

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