Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
3 2 1 whiskey
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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