Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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