I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
