So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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