UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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