well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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