I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
