Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
