My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
