i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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