did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
