Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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