addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
