I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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