I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
