I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just blew my weed a kiss
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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