well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
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You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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