We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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