Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
