i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
