im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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