wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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