I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
