Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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