I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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